I'm in a band, now. I'm still working at Zia. It's gone up and down, but I think I might actually stay there. I mean, I'm not entirely happy, but it's a solid job and I enjoy spending time with my coworkers.
I'm still lonely, but I'm thinking about different ways to change that. It's nice having the money to survive, too. For the past two months, I've covered rent entirely on my own. I guess that's a huge reason that I'm not unhappy about staying at Zia, 'cause it's cool to know that I can survive on my own- the uncertainty of changing jobs would be rough on my not-yet-established self reliance.
All things considered, I think that I would do better if I found a job that was closer, but I think that I might be able to manage if I can save up for a car and go that route. That way, I can start doing more sound gigs around town, and while I build up that set of skills, I can see about actually recording and getting back in contact with Ralph.
I have been thinking about going to MCC and enrolling. I don't know how things will pan out, but I'm tired of not being in school- I miss having people to spend time with, day by day, that are interested in the same things as I am. Plus, it sucks knowing that most of the other sound engineers that I know have much more knowledge than I do- I'm completely out classed, and I'd really like a chance to make my shows sound as good as they possibly can.
I have been dreaming a lot, too. Dreams of Denise, and Olivia, even a dream about Vic. It's not surprising, considering this is longest that I've been single before I started dating, but it stings, too. I don't even know where to start when it comes to my concept of love. I've thought about my past relationships, and I've always been so... self centered. I don't think that I have ever been "in love", at this point. I think that I've fallen into something very similar, but there's so much more for me to find. Is it possible to be in love with somebody that you've never met? To be in love with the idea of a person?
Maybe I'll have more dreams that will help me figure this out.
